And so comes the end of yet another year...I feel like I woke up 2 months ago and it was just June...and now it's the end of 2008!! WOW!!
I think at some point in our lives, we all strive to do something perfectly, the first time you do it. For me, it's all about bread.
My wonderful hubby got me a gorgeous KitchenAid mixer for Christmas. It's all mighty and powerful...and I bow to it...nah...just kidding. IT would like to think it's THAT powerful...but really...it's not. Anyways, I have been reading online about different recipes for bread. I found a really simple recipe...which called for mixing everything together in the kitchenaid bowl...including the yeast and water...pretty much, dump it in...and mix it up. So, that is just what I did. It said to let it mix until the dough seperates from the bowl edge..done...and then put a clean dish cloth over it and let it rise about 25 minutes....done. And it worked!! It rose appropriately, so I then mashed it down, and put it into a greased pan and then put 6 "rolls" into the big muffin tin. Our oven has a proofer on it, so I put the said items in the oven on proof for about 20 minutes...and sure enough...they rose again.
WOW!! I MUST BE A PRO AT BREAD MAKING!!! So I labor on ahead with the next step which is the baking...I simply turned the oven onto 400 and since the goods were already in the oven, I set the timer for 30 minutes and WHAA LAA!!! Bread and Rolls!!
I then take them out of the oven and kind of tap on the top...it's nice and brown...so, it goes tap, tap, tap. Hmmmm....sounds a little crunchy on top, but that's ok. I then take one of the rolls out, and cut into it....OWWW!!!! IT'S DANG HOT!!! Well duh, you DID just pull it out of the oven!! I then take a tiny taste of the roll...ummm...hmmm...
Arn't they SUPPOSED to have SOME KIND OF FLAVOR?? Like the yummy yeast flavor or shouldn't they taste bready or something??? These are SOOOOO bland....UGH!!! These are DEFINATELY NOT a yummy dinner roll. In fact, if we still had snow, I would make the suggestion to the kids that they could go play hockey with these rolls.
Well, what can I say?? Martha Stewart I am NOT!! Back to the drawing board...
Happy New Year everyone!!! Hugs, Andrea
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Let it snow..let it snow..let it...NO!! NO MORE SNOW!!!
How many people wish for a white Christmas?? I know I have...and you can bet I won't ever be wishing for a white Christmas again!! As I write...it is snowing..yet again!! Don't get me wrong...it really IS beautiful....until you have to either be out in it...or you can't go anywhere because of it!! And, they are calling for another 1-3" for tomorrow. ENOUGH ALREADY is the sentiment I am giving!!
I was supposed to have my 8 week ultrasound on Monday...but due to the snow, they closed the OHSU clinic for the day. So, I called and left a message on Tuesday that I needed to have an appointment on Friday for an U/S and a Rhogham shot.
Let me back up here a moment...Sunday evening, I was sitting on the bed, using my computer...when all of the sudden, I felt a "gush" down in the nether regions. I thought to myself..."OH CRAP!!" So, I went potty, and sure enough...blood. :( I tried not to panic, but it's easier said than done when you are 8 weeks pregnant!! I called Kent upstairs, and he also told me to relax...so, I tried. We then went back to the bed, and we prayed for this little baby. I then took it easy the rest of the night...only getting up to go potty and brush my teeth and get my jammas on.
Fast forward to Monday morning...I called the Dr. and they said to just bedrest until the bleeding stopped and that because the clinic was closed, then to get in there on Friday for the u/s. I also was supposed to stop one of the injections as of Sunday, but they said to keep on it for now (which I am ok with doing...what's a few more weeks of shots in your bum??)
So, I spent Monday and half of Tuesday in bed...Kent and Kayte have been so sweet...bringing up my meals so nicely prepared. Kayte made me some top ramen yesterday...and she was so cute bringing it up...she cooked it...and she says..."Mom, I hope it's not too overdone!!" (She knows I don't like soggy noodles.) Well, it wasn't cooked all the way...but I didn't say that...I just ate it happily. She had also brought some cottage cheese and a glass of ice water with a straw. AWWW!!!
So, the OHSU clinic finally calls me back...and she tells me that as of the 17th, they can no longer do obstetrical u/s on IVF patients that are not their own. UMM...WHAT?? So, you are telling me, if I would have gone in on Monday (if the weather would not have been so bad) you would have sent me home? "Yup, that's what we are telling you." GRRR!!! So now I am left with...bleeding...wondering what's up with this little tater tot...and NO ultrasound!! GREAT!!!
I called my case manager and the Dr.s office...My case manager called around to a few places and got a u/s at an imaging center. While she was calling around, I got a call back from a dr's office right up the street from me, because I will have to start being seen by a regular OB in the next few weeks. So, as we were talking, I told her that I needed a Rhogham shot (because of the bleed) and she said a nurse would call me back to schedule it. Well, long and short of it...
I walked up to the Dr's office, and had the rhogham shot AND a ultrasound!! How cool is that?? And, they were supposed to close at 3 pm because of the weather, and they stayed open...I want to say just for me...but maybe not...I felt like they did though.
And good news!! We saw the baby!! It was measuring 8 weeks 3 days and had a heart rate of 183 BPM!! They could not find the source of the bleed...and I am still bleeding...I think when I do anything physical (the walk in the snow, up the hill) then I tend to bleed more. The Dr. called it a threatened miscarriage...he said 1 in 4 women have them...He said if I am going to miscarry, then I will and there is nothing to be done about it. (He did say except hope and pray!!) So, as long as I am bleeding...I will continue to be on bedrest....(which sucks, but it's OK...I know I am doing the right thing!!)
So that's it for now...I wish you all a Merry Christmas and the Happiest of a New Year!!
I was supposed to have my 8 week ultrasound on Monday...but due to the snow, they closed the OHSU clinic for the day. So, I called and left a message on Tuesday that I needed to have an appointment on Friday for an U/S and a Rhogham shot.
Let me back up here a moment...Sunday evening, I was sitting on the bed, using my computer...when all of the sudden, I felt a "gush" down in the nether regions. I thought to myself..."OH CRAP!!" So, I went potty, and sure enough...blood. :( I tried not to panic, but it's easier said than done when you are 8 weeks pregnant!! I called Kent upstairs, and he also told me to relax...so, I tried. We then went back to the bed, and we prayed for this little baby. I then took it easy the rest of the night...only getting up to go potty and brush my teeth and get my jammas on.
Fast forward to Monday morning...I called the Dr. and they said to just bedrest until the bleeding stopped and that because the clinic was closed, then to get in there on Friday for the u/s. I also was supposed to stop one of the injections as of Sunday, but they said to keep on it for now (which I am ok with doing...what's a few more weeks of shots in your bum??)
So, I spent Monday and half of Tuesday in bed...Kent and Kayte have been so sweet...bringing up my meals so nicely prepared. Kayte made me some top ramen yesterday...and she was so cute bringing it up...she cooked it...and she says..."Mom, I hope it's not too overdone!!" (She knows I don't like soggy noodles.) Well, it wasn't cooked all the way...but I didn't say that...I just ate it happily. She had also brought some cottage cheese and a glass of ice water with a straw. AWWW!!!
So, the OHSU clinic finally calls me back...and she tells me that as of the 17th, they can no longer do obstetrical u/s on IVF patients that are not their own. UMM...WHAT?? So, you are telling me, if I would have gone in on Monday (if the weather would not have been so bad) you would have sent me home? "Yup, that's what we are telling you." GRRR!!! So now I am left with...bleeding...wondering what's up with this little tater tot...and NO ultrasound!! GREAT!!!
I called my case manager and the Dr.s office...My case manager called around to a few places and got a u/s at an imaging center. While she was calling around, I got a call back from a dr's office right up the street from me, because I will have to start being seen by a regular OB in the next few weeks. So, as we were talking, I told her that I needed a Rhogham shot (because of the bleed) and she said a nurse would call me back to schedule it. Well, long and short of it...
I walked up to the Dr's office, and had the rhogham shot AND a ultrasound!! How cool is that?? And, they were supposed to close at 3 pm because of the weather, and they stayed open...I want to say just for me...but maybe not...I felt like they did though.
And good news!! We saw the baby!! It was measuring 8 weeks 3 days and had a heart rate of 183 BPM!! They could not find the source of the bleed...and I am still bleeding...I think when I do anything physical (the walk in the snow, up the hill) then I tend to bleed more. The Dr. called it a threatened miscarriage...he said 1 in 4 women have them...He said if I am going to miscarry, then I will and there is nothing to be done about it. (He did say except hope and pray!!) So, as long as I am bleeding...I will continue to be on bedrest....(which sucks, but it's OK...I know I am doing the right thing!!)
So that's it for now...I wish you all a Merry Christmas and the Happiest of a New Year!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Fears...
Sorry I have not updated this blog sooner. I am sure you all are on pins and needles wanting to know the outcome of the first sonogram. Well, we have been blessed with one little sac and one little hearbeat. The heartbeat was so small, the Dr. could not count it. But, it was there...and that's what I wanted to see. Whew!! My IP's were there to see it as well...and I am so thankful that they were able to be there to see it. YAY!!
We will go back on December 22nd for the 8 week ultrasound. That is only a week away....
So, here is why I titled this blog today, the way I did.
I am scared! Plain and simple! I am scared of something happening to this baby. I hear stories of how some surrogates go in for their such and such ultrasound, and the Dr. tells them that the baby stopped growing at such and such a week. And then it is over for them. I am scared that it will happen to me...no matter how much I pray that it won't. You all have to understand that it's just me...having to worry over anything and everything!! What kind of person would I be if I didn't worry?? In the words of Mr. Owl...the world may never know!!
I want everything to be perfect in this pregnancy....I want statistics on the hows and whys women lose babies via IVF. Or why any women lose babies for any reason at all. I want facts...but...all I have to go on are wives tales and stories and my own fears.
I KNOW that this is not in my hands...and it hasn't been in my hands since we started this journey. My IP's have put their complete trust in me...and I don't want to let them down. I never had to worry when I was pregnant with my own kids. I don't think I worried once...I was pregnant...and that was that. And most times during my pregnancy...it was always...I am 2 months pregnant...or 4 months or some other number like that. Never was it...I am 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I feel like I have never known my body so well as I do now!!
Someone told me that this is a rollercoaster of uncertainty...and boy...do I believe her!! I want to get in...buckle up...and be able to hold on for the entire ride...and try not to worry that the seat that I am riding in will come off it's tracks...but I do...everyday. SIGH!!
OK...enough of my ramblings for now....you may exit the roller coaster to the right...and thank you for riding the Andrea Fear Train!! :)
We will go back on December 22nd for the 8 week ultrasound. That is only a week away....
So, here is why I titled this blog today, the way I did.
I am scared! Plain and simple! I am scared of something happening to this baby. I hear stories of how some surrogates go in for their such and such ultrasound, and the Dr. tells them that the baby stopped growing at such and such a week. And then it is over for them. I am scared that it will happen to me...no matter how much I pray that it won't. You all have to understand that it's just me...having to worry over anything and everything!! What kind of person would I be if I didn't worry?? In the words of Mr. Owl...the world may never know!!
I want everything to be perfect in this pregnancy....I want statistics on the hows and whys women lose babies via IVF. Or why any women lose babies for any reason at all. I want facts...but...all I have to go on are wives tales and stories and my own fears.
I KNOW that this is not in my hands...and it hasn't been in my hands since we started this journey. My IP's have put their complete trust in me...and I don't want to let them down. I never had to worry when I was pregnant with my own kids. I don't think I worried once...I was pregnant...and that was that. And most times during my pregnancy...it was always...I am 2 months pregnant...or 4 months or some other number like that. Never was it...I am 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I feel like I have never known my body so well as I do now!!
Someone told me that this is a rollercoaster of uncertainty...and boy...do I believe her!! I want to get in...buckle up...and be able to hold on for the entire ride...and try not to worry that the seat that I am riding in will come off it's tracks...but I do...everyday. SIGH!!
OK...enough of my ramblings for now....you may exit the roller coaster to the right...and thank you for riding the Andrea Fear Train!! :)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Lost in thought...
Sometimes...I just get lost in thoughts...any random thoughts.
I won't bore you with my ramblings though.
Kent and I went to the Inspirators Dinner last night. Inspirators is a non-profit group of people made up of suppliers, vendors, and retailers in the Portland area. The dinner was wonderful...as were the Oroweat people we sat with. Kent and I danced a few dances...however, I was plumb tired...so he danced with a few gals...Kent is such a good dancer!!
Kayte stayed the night with a friend...and went up to Washington with them to get their Christmas Tree. They took a train to get it...which is something I have never heard of. It sounded like she had some great fun...and she really didn't want to come home...hence...the not answering her cell-phone!! :)
Levi and Eva got married on Thursday at the Oregon Garden. They are now spending 10 days with their best friend Mickey Mouse in Disney World!! Eva texted me last night about 7pm and said that they had made it. YAY!! The wedding was really nice...Levi's wedding vows brought me to tears...as they really were a reflection of him. During their first dance, the song was interrupted by Levi and Eva talking about how they met...and what drew them together...and how Levi asked Eva to marry her. It was very sweet...again...it brought me to tears. DAMN Hormones anyway!!
Well...on the surrogacy front, I go in for the 6 week ultrasound on Monday to see how the baby (or babies) are growing. I think there is one in there...Kent and the kids insist that there are 2!! I think the Intended Parents will be there, but I am not sure. Kent cannot come since he will be on the corporate jet flying to Medford for store tours. I felt a little nauseous a couple times last week, but that went away. I would almost rather be nauseous all the time so I know the little one is brewing in there...but...I suppose if I am not sick...that would be a change from my other pregnancies. I was usually sick the first 3 months or so with the other kids...nothing horrid by any means...and certain smells really made me nauseous. Like coffee...ACK!! Kent had to have coffee at work when I was pregnant with Kayte because I couldn't handle the smell. This time...I still feel like I have a super smeller. I don't like the smell of dirt to begin with...and wow...I feel like when I step outside our house, the smell of dirt is so intense...UGH!!!
Well...we are off to get a Christmas tree....
I shall keep you with bated breath until tomorrow...when I reveal the findings of the ultrasound. :)
I won't bore you with my ramblings though.
Kent and I went to the Inspirators Dinner last night. Inspirators is a non-profit group of people made up of suppliers, vendors, and retailers in the Portland area. The dinner was wonderful...as were the Oroweat people we sat with. Kent and I danced a few dances...however, I was plumb tired...so he danced with a few gals...Kent is such a good dancer!!
Kayte stayed the night with a friend...and went up to Washington with them to get their Christmas Tree. They took a train to get it...which is something I have never heard of. It sounded like she had some great fun...and she really didn't want to come home...hence...the not answering her cell-phone!! :)
Levi and Eva got married on Thursday at the Oregon Garden. They are now spending 10 days with their best friend Mickey Mouse in Disney World!! Eva texted me last night about 7pm and said that they had made it. YAY!! The wedding was really nice...Levi's wedding vows brought me to tears...as they really were a reflection of him. During their first dance, the song was interrupted by Levi and Eva talking about how they met...and what drew them together...and how Levi asked Eva to marry her. It was very sweet...again...it brought me to tears. DAMN Hormones anyway!!
Well...on the surrogacy front, I go in for the 6 week ultrasound on Monday to see how the baby (or babies) are growing. I think there is one in there...Kent and the kids insist that there are 2!! I think the Intended Parents will be there, but I am not sure. Kent cannot come since he will be on the corporate jet flying to Medford for store tours. I felt a little nauseous a couple times last week, but that went away. I would almost rather be nauseous all the time so I know the little one is brewing in there...but...I suppose if I am not sick...that would be a change from my other pregnancies. I was usually sick the first 3 months or so with the other kids...nothing horrid by any means...and certain smells really made me nauseous. Like coffee...ACK!! Kent had to have coffee at work when I was pregnant with Kayte because I couldn't handle the smell. This time...I still feel like I have a super smeller. I don't like the smell of dirt to begin with...and wow...I feel like when I step outside our house, the smell of dirt is so intense...UGH!!!
Well...we are off to get a Christmas tree....
I shall keep you with bated breath until tomorrow...when I reveal the findings of the ultrasound. :)
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